On Friday, a harrowing scene of carnage took place, effectively wiping out the mass population of the world and giving all of those who managed to save themselves the title of a survivor. OK, that’s not true, but that’s what I’m going to tell my kids. Friday actually might have made my top 10 most uneventful days of my life list, but with all the hype that surrounded it, it seems a shame to let it go to waste. Maybe I can’t fool anyone today, but I sure plan on fooling my kids.
They will ask me how I survived. How did their scatterbrained, flaky mother see it through the apocalypse? The answer is simple. I survived in an underground safe house stocked with approximately enough food and water to last five years. Of course, I also managed to round up all of my friends and family to keep them safe with me. This is when they will sadly sigh and say, “except for poor Uncle Lester.” But they will know not to ask too many questions about their fictitious relative.
This story will be told as an effort to subtly ensure that my children comprehend the courage and heroism of their mother.
Naturally, though, they will want to know what chaos ensued. That is an easy answer — the same thing that happened to the dinosaurs happened to us. If they ask me to elaborate, I will begin to shake, weep and insist that the details are just too painful to expound on.
Once I have regained my composure, they will wonder why they can’t seem to find any information on the subject. I will them that it’s because the recollection of the events are too fresh and painful in the people of the world’s minds.
No one wanted to put down on paper the details of such a horrific event. I will tell them that maybe someday, centuries into the future, historians will look back and try to document the stories that they have only heard passed down from their grandparents and great-grandparents, but at present, no one is willing to relive the experience through pens.
This response will most likely be enough for my kids, who will probably be just as gullible as those today who believed in the impending doom of our planet, but they will still have one more question.
How did we move past it? Their question will be the perfect opening for my spiel on camaraderie, humanity and the bond of brotherhood. I will explain to them that people came together and the survivors learned to truly rely on one another to carry on. The rebuilding efforts went quickly and smoothly due to human goodness. It will have a happy ending with a positive moral and will be quite a worthwhile tale to tell.
I’m still debating about whether or not Santa Claus will have a hand in saving the world, with the doomsday being so close to Christmas.
Sure there might be some plot holes, but just like when they press for information on the cause of the apocalypse, there’s always the it’s-just-too-painfulto- talk-about answer.
Regardless, my kids are in for a treat. They’ll have the coolest bedtime story in the neighborhood.
Siera Gomez is a senior at Stansbury High School.