There’s an old sexist joke that golf is actually an acronym: Gentlemen Only, Ladies (are) Forbidden.
Perhaps I’m still naive from my being a newlywed, but that acronym is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.
Last week I talked my new bride into walking the course with my dad and I as we played one of our twice-weekly rounds of golf. Eventually I talked Arie into taking a swing at a ball we found in the rough. To the surprise of both my dad and I, her swing actually didn’t look too bad.
I’m not sure I would describe my wife as being terribly athletic. Not to say she doesn’t look the part: she’s one of the skinniest people I’ve ever met and has long arms and legs. But she’s never actually taken part in sports.
You see, Arie grew up with music lessons and practiced four hours a day. With that much time devoted already to homework, sleep, school and everything else, playing for the little kickers rec soccer team was pretty low on the priority list.
I wouldn’t change anything about her upbringing even if it were possible, but I can’t help but wonder what kind of athlete she might have been if her interests had been different growing up. Either way, I wonder if Arie and I haven’t found a hobby we can share.
I decided to test the theory and took her to the driving range at the tail end of a date we had over the weekend. Yeah, she whiffed a few more times than she’ll be happy about me admitting, but once she stopped trying to crush the ball like Bryce Harper on a charity tour she didn’t do too badly.
I’m not sure she’s quite as hooked as she was after the first time she went climbing — she balked at bit when I had her look up prices for a golf course season pass and she didn’t immediately inform me she was going to buy a new bag of equipment. But I do think she likes it enough to tag along on family golf outings (my dad, sister and brother-in-law all enjoy the game) with a borrowed set of clubs.
Just so long as ladies aren’t forbidden on the course.
Tavin Stucki is a sports writer from Midvale, Utah, who regularly plays golf in foursomes with his father, sister and brother-in-law. Send any comments to firstname.lastname@example.org