Although Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a happy time, not all love stories have happy endings.
You see, for me, if dating was a Pokemon, then it would be Eevee.
I remember playing the popular Gameboy adventure “Pokemon” as a seventh and eighth grader. In the game, you get a Pokemon about half way through the adventure called Eevee. And this particular Pokemon could evolve into three different Super Pokemon.
Your choices were the electric Pokemon Jolteon, the water Pokemon Vaporeon, or the fire Pokemon Flareon. Each had its own special powers and weaknesses. But you only got one Eevee, which meant you only got one of the three Super Pokemon.
So it goes with dating. Every person has certain strengths and weaknesses, and then it’s important to remember that you have them, too. I once heard a quote by Dr. Seuss: “I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.”
So I guess that’s the key with dating: Find someone whose weirdness matches your own weirdness. In that journey of finding that special weird someone, there’s a lot of fun, but there’s also a lot of heartbreak. Sometimes you’re the one who hurts someone else, and other times you’re the one who suffers the wrath of Kali and has your heart ripped out like in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”
Between March and May of last year, I dated “The One That Got Away.” Oh my goodness, she was amazing. She was intellectual. She was cultured. We had enough similar interests to have a comfort level, but we were also different enough to keep things interesting. Every couple also has that one weird thing they both like, and for us, it was the movie “Down Periscope.”
Man oh man, she was hot. She was totally out of my league, but I didn’t care. She was also an amazing kisser. Fireworks exploded in the sky every time I kissed her — at least they did for me.
As it goes, I got way too attached, way too fast. I was in love, but she wasn’t.
So one day, after about two months of dating, she decided that she was done. We had a conversation the week before, and I told her I wanted to get married. She told me that she didn’t see herself ever getting married. So she dumped me, not wanting to waste time on a relationship she pictured would end only in disaster.
For most people, the story would end there. But I’m Richard Glenn Briggs, son of Wayne Briggs, son of Glenn Briggs. And we Briggses are a pesky bunch.
I decided later that day to go over to her home and propose to her. If you’re going to get your heart broken, you might as well get it smashed into a million pieces, right?
So I got there, gave her a piece of my mind, and said something like, “If you don’t want to use dating as a means to an end, then let’s just skip to the end.” I got down on one knee, pulled out a Gordon Hayward wristband that I found in my car, and asked her to marry me.
She was stunned, of course. After a few moments of silence with me kneeling there and praying for a miracle, she finally rejected my proposal.
She was nice about it, and even though it’s something I still haven’t gotten over, I can’t blame her for it. “The One That Got Away” wasn’t in love, and that’s just how dating goes. As Crash Davis once said in the 1988 film “Bull Durham,” “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains.”
With my story, and with other stories, perceptions from the outside looking in will vary. If you think I was bold and romantic with my spontaneous proposal, you’re right. If you think I was desperate and naive, you’re also right. After all, I’m not the first person to have my heart broken. I certainly won’t be the last.
Love will make us do some really stupid things. It’s amazing the dastardly power our hearts have over our brains.
For you high school kids, I have a bit of advice: When these things happen to you in the future, and they will, remember to keep the peace and end things on good terms. One day you may run into these people, and you should be able to introduce your future spouses to them and civilly announce, “We used to date.”