Tooele Transcript Bulletin – News in Tooele, Utah

June 26, 2012
Obama’s melodramatic shtick grows tiresome

Step right up, step right up! Barrack Obama has another melodrama for you.


Yes. Again. This time, he’s pushing a new show called, “The Young and the Visa-less.”

What’s it about?

Well, it’s about this girl named Sherrie and a boy named….wait, that’s actually the new Hollywood film “Rock of Ages.” But the concept’s similar. It’s about girls and boys coming to the big town to live their American Dream. Except they can’t do it out in the open because, well, it’s their parents’ dang fault.

It’s always the parents’ fault. My psychoanalyst neighbor just built a new swimming pool thanks to “my parents’ fault.” That fault is bigger than the ones in California.

So anyway, you have these young kids go through trials and tribulations on their way to the top.

“The Young and the Visa-less” sounds like a guaranteed tear-jerker.

You should run out and buy Kleenex stock, pronto.

Does it have a happy ending?

Sorry, but I can’t say. That’d be spoiling it. Just watch the show. In two years, there’ll be a sequel. Obama will come up with a script then, if he’s still around. Maybe even a plot. There’ll be about 800,000 willing extras. Maybe more.

What do you think of Southern Baptists boycotting Obama’s other show?

What other show?

You know, the one called “Gay Rights equal Civil Rights.”

Well, just between you and me, Obama’s sweating. He thought he had them on his corner, what with the NAACP’s endorsement.

Yeah, that was the grand Nike of endorsements, wasn’t it? Why’d you think they did it?

They probably figured they’ll tie their fortune with Obama. He seemed like a winner at one time. But now, the L-word keeps popping up, and that L isn’t for “Liberal.”

Speaking of Losers, I can’t believe viewers watched that victim show called “War on Women.” It was pretty graphic. Do all women really want contraceptives on their cafeteria trays?

According to Obama, yes. So they can launch them like weapons at anyone who disagrees with them, even other women themselves.

Well, women are very much decision-makers in their homes. Don’t forget that women account for a majority of our college graduates.

Yes, and Obama certainly wanted them to know he feels their pain with his show, “Student Loan Shark.”

You mean the one where he tries to get millionaire businesspeople to subsidize student loans?

Yes, that one.

It was very over-the-top, but I admit, I kind of liked that. Someone’s got to stick it to these people who make money off the American Dream.

Exactly! Who do they think they are? Entrepreneurs or something? All rich people are evil, except for Obama’s Hollywood donors, of course.

By the way, who writes Obama’s scripts?

Nicholas Sparks, probably. Like I said, they’re melodramatic tearjerkers. Some might even say manipulative.

No way. Nicholas Sparks movies are actually watchable. Obama’s are getting kind of tiresome. I wonder who he’ll feature next?

That’s the thing, he can’t seem to find that magic plotline. His fans have a short attention span and need constant entertainment. I’m sure he’ll come up with something between now and November. That’s still a good five months away.

Five months. Sheesh. I sure hope he stops pitching these shows. If he keeps this up, I just might have to stop watching TV.

Jewel Punzalan Allen is a longtime journalist who lives in Grantsville. She blogs at

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