Tooele Transcript Bulletin – News in Tooele, Utah

July 1, 2014
What’s the rush to teen-age relationships?

This fall I will enter my junior year of high school and I couldn’t be more excited. I am almost done with high school and I am getting closer to becoming an adult. With a mixture of disappointment and joy, I still have two years of high school to go. Although I only have two years of experience, I have already noticed something that I find scary.

Many of the students are in serious relationships. Yes, this is a teenage girl writing the article still. I am one of the few, who truly believe that it is not a good idea. Have I had boyfriends in the past? Yes, I have. Do I have one now? I am actually pleased to say no. I do not have anything against the opposite sex; I just happened to have had an epiphany.

While most teenagers argue that they are becoming adults and they should be able to make their own decisions, we are not there yet. Our parents are still responsible for our well being. Yes, that includes having healthy relationships with people. Here is where I come to the problem of serious dating in high school.

It is a little thing I like to call co-dependence. I can easily relate it to “The Big O” by Shel Silverstein. For those of you who have not read it, here is a summary.

Once upon a time there was a missing piece that wanted to roll places. So she tried to get circles to take her along with them so that it could go places. Some had too many holes, some tried to fit too many missing pieces into one hole, and some holes were just not big enough.

One day a perfect O rolled by. The missing piece begged it to take her with it, but it said that it wouldn’t. Why? Because it said she needed to learn to roll on her own. So she started rolling. At first, she stumbled because of her sharp edges. Her roll was not even and no, it was not perfect. Then, gradually, she smoothed out and became a beautiful circle with no missing parts. The perfect O came across her and they rolled away together.

At this point and time, teenagers are all missing pieces, no matter how mature we think we are. Sure, I may sound totally cheesy, but we all need to learn to roll by ourselves, before we can roll with other circles.

I have noticed, and in past events I have done this, we become exactly like the person we date. It gets to the point that we as individuals don’t even know what we want anymore. I like to compare it to the movie “Runaway Bride.” The girl in this show always claims she likes her eggs just like her current fiance fiance likes them.

One day, however, she makes all kinds of eggs just to see what she likes. She comes to discover, she doesn’t even like eggs. So, my question for the teenagers is, how are we supposed to know what we like and don’t like, if all we ever do is go with what our significant other does?

I know it may not seem like a big deal now, but what happens when you break up? I have been there, and my end result was not pretty. I didn’t even know who I was anymore and my parents were left to pick up the pieces. Trust me; it is very much worth it to wait. I’m not saying that you can’t date, just go out with lots of people casually. Have fun. Be young. Just avoid becoming boyfriend and girlfriend because it will lead to problems.

A wise person also once told me that the reason parents don’t encourage steady dating is because you can emotionally bond with the person. Now, that doesn’t sound all that bad, but let me explain. When you emotionally bond, you begin acting like a married couple. The problem with that is our young bodies and brains are still developing. So when we break up with our significant other, it hurts — a lot.

Sure, we like to pretend our parents don’t know anything. Trust me, I do it all the time; but maybe, just maybe, they actually do know something. They don’t tell you this stuff just for the fun of it, because for them it’s not that fun to deal with a yelling, crying teen in angst. It is just like dealing with a toddler throwing a temper tantrum and we all know that no one likes those.

So, coming from a teen, let me say that you will survive without a boyfriend or a girlfriend. There will still be plenty of boys and girls for that later when we grow up.

Yes, I just said it. We still have a lot of growing up to do. We are on our way there, but our time has not come yet. Besides, if we want our parents to treat us like adults, maybe we should act like adults by proving that we respect their opinions and we go on lots of dates with different people to show we are actually thinking about it too. What’s the rush? We only get a few years to play and then we are married for many, many years.

I think I will just keep being the text-crazy teenage girl I am now. Coming from someone with experience, even if it’s just a little, it really isn’t worth it. I prefer knowing who I am now and acting, well, like a teenager.

 

Peatross will be a junior at Tooele High School this fall.

 

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